C-U-L-T find out what it means to me!

There is nothing in the word CULT that connotes positivity. Or in the word evangelical. It might have originally meant a zealous faith and promotion in a set of beliefs, but to the agnostic or skeptic, it can only mean one thing; brainwashing.

Over the past week Scientology and a group called Agape Ministries have come under fire. And over the past year (or longer) the Catholic Church has been paddled on the bum for the array of cover-ups and instances that they turned a blind eye to sexual abuse.

I see a connection.

Secretive group with a uniting and firm belief in one ideal (religious, or otherwise). Secluded from society or a natural life or choosing an alternate path(ie priesthood, a life of solitude, estrangement from normal daily life), these members often stray quite obviously from their path.

Sexual abuse of children, cover-ups and illegal weaponry or activities.

And the cover-up is justified how? To preserve their faith in positive light to the rest of the world.

Rationalised how? It's what (god, higher being, the saviour) would want/do/think/say/forgive.

Does it make it okay?

No.

I've never really understood what South Australian Senator Nick Xenaphon stood for (except anti-gambling) but he sure understands what I'm on about.


I don't think religious belief is necessarily a bad or dangerous thing, just that when it comes to holding power, distorting the natural way of life (with, say, abstinence or living in a place secluded from the eye of anyone outside of that belief).

My Melbourne Mum once said to me, 'Everything in moderation.'
It applies to almost everything, drinking, eating crappy food, going out for dinner, pulling all nighters or spending time on the computer.

Perhaps religion needs to take a leaf out of her book and realise that the power they wield over people can corrupt (however unintentionally).

I'm not so much saying faith in moderation, but take a chance to take of the robe, hat, cross, whatever and reflect on what you are doing.

Because we know that evangelicals isolate people, rather than encourage them to stay and chat.

The bearded man on a crate yelling, the bible booth, the lone monk handing out 3 inch thick books, the activist asking me if I like puppies or the environment. They all make it very difficult to want to actually hear what they are on about.

Maybe I'll get a crate and yell 'MODERATION' a few times in the middle of Federation Square.

It should get it out of my system...

This advertising doesn't work

I've bee watching a lot of the US TV series Mad Men recently and in between wistfully fantasizing about life in the 50s I've been giving advertisements around me a good hard 'do you make me want to buy you?' ponder.

This question has lead to two polar opposite effects - a big ol' maybe and BIG FAT NO.
Let's take a short stroll through these ads.

1. The Perfect Man - Perfect Italiano



I'm sorry, but in my world the perfect man doesn't have a listening face, or have an Italian accent and narrate his every action. Plus that face needs a few imperfections to make me feel less insecure that my face may not have the most perfect, prominent cheek bones and angular jaw. Also my hair doesn't swish so elegantly.
AND THEN they have the indecency to tell you to buy cheese, when I'm fairly sure Mr Perfect Man over there didn't guzzle mozzarella to get that manicured stubble.
So, first lesson for advertising 'people' - don't make me feel insecure.

2. Most ads for a radio show that are plastered across streets or broadcast on TV.
Yeah, you know what I'm on about. Those ads for Nova, Triple M or Classic rock which make you realise why those presenters are on radio, not TV. That's right. They have a radio face. BUUURN.


(To be inserted photo of aforementioned ad)


I also don't understand how they came up with such a terrible idea for a radio ad. They don't tell you what is going to be talked about, why you should listen or who the hell these people are. They are just 'Grubby and 'Deedee' and that's it. I'm sure hilarity ensues.

3. Cars driving through the wilderness.
Who ever had the revelation wilderness + car = profit is either a genius or know nothing about how people use cars.
I learnt to drive in a Toyota Land Cruiser and am fairly sure that thing is far too fat to drive over sand.


Cars are not epic, they get you from A to B. Some are more grumbly, some bigger and some have those flippy TV screens.


I just wish we could go back to the good old days when advertisements took criticism on, telling the experts to eff off.

No mobile, no social networking = less friends.

Well, it's probably not quite that simple.
Last week I went without my phone, facebook or any other social networking site.
I began the week believing life would break in two, but I'd probably procrastinate a whole lot less and study like a mad woman. But alas, I got very distracted by Mad Men, planning my radio show either vs EITHER (8PM MONDAY NIGHTS ON SYN 90.7) and finding other things to do.

To summarise my week as defined by not having a phone:

- I woke up late twice, due to an alarm clock that is unable to tell the time.
- Left my keys at home and was aided by a friendly builder called Bruce in taking all the bolts out of my back door so I could get inside and thanked him with a packet of pocky (which he had NEVER had before.
- Annoyed my boyfriend twice by not being specific enough about times when I'd be somewhere
- Also annoyed him with mix ups between email communication and calling from a pay phone, I blame the RMIT email server.
- Couldn't broadcast myself to the world, because clearly everyone wants to know what I am thinking at any given time
- Memorised about 15 phone numbers just incase I was beat up in an alley way.
- Was paranoid.
- Missed a meeting at work about getting a pay rise. But I get the pay rise anyway. wicked.

Basically I just wasn't part of another level of communication, almost a self broadcasting. I missed a few birthdays, events and relied on others being where they were meant to be. I also had 10 voicemails and quite a few texts upon turning my phone on yesterday.
If you don't involve yourself in Facebook or with your phone, it becomes less of a deal. Being part of some sort of non-face-to-face community is dependent on your own involvement. I think I like the level of involvement I have in these social networking sites because it creates a sense of knowing, of belonging and finding.

And yes, I have caught up on all the FB stalking from last week.

SYN and no phone.

NEXT WEEK:

1. I am living for seven days without my mobile phone, twitter and facebook.
Why?
An article in the Age to coincide with the release of Apple's iPad (and yes I am aware it's been pushed back) about the dependence the modern person has on technology.
Also to see if I can hack it. I will let you know in an undoubtedly lengthy and full of 'aghhhhghghg' post probably next monday.
And yes, I am shit scared.
Things I use my phone, facebook and twitter for:
- Text messages
- Calling (duh)
- Remembering birthdays
- Alarm Clock
- Attending events
- Checking the weather
- Checking when trams/train come
- Googling unknown things to seem more knowledgeable in tutorials.
- Taking amusing/sufficiently arty pictures and/or videos
- Checking fb a little too often
- Useless multitasking when watching TV, a movie or on public transport
- The time

I'm sure there are a few more I am forgetting, but I think you get the picture.

2. I'm going to be on SYN radio (90.7 FM if you're in Melbourne)!
A friend and I have created a show called Either versus eIther (as in the different pronunciations) and we will be debating generally 'versus' things. Most of them relate to 12-25 year olds, or are just fun to take to the 'enth extent.
8pm on Monday nights, and also on Panorama (news and current affairs radio show) on Wednesdays at 4:30.
Be there or be

WHAM BAM, I'M THE FRAUDSTER FIGHTING (wo)MAN!

I was the victim of internet fraud.
I've always thought that I was FAR too smart for that. I don't give my account details away in order to inherit a wealthy Nigerian King's fortune, or sign up to some program to build my muscles up in 2 weeks. How wrong I was.

So, my mum gave me this amazing antioxidant powder which makes colds/the flu or any other winter-related illness go away a snap. After last winter depleted my stock I decided to be a BIG GUURRL and buy some of the interwebs. I found a product that seemed the same, full of powder that looks violet and blueberry and is a great for the immune system. Popped in my credit/debit mastercard deets and voila, I should receive a package in 2-3 business days.

But
it
didn't.

After two months (mid-February) I'm noticing I seem to be running out of money week to week, when I'm usually pretty good at counting and saving my dosh.
I thought it was because I'd just moved house and I was buying those essential new-house items (scourers, bins, etc). But a few weeks later I notices my 'available balance' had gone down considerably - by $130.
After a few days, the whole balance was down by the same amount and there was a debit, with some random arrangement of numbers as the detail (OOOBB333187774420 for example).
"FUUUUUCKCKCKCKCKCKCKKKKKKK!!" was my immediate reaction and searching my brain for what in the world it could be.
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And then it clicked.
At first I felt like the biggest dickhead.
Antioxidant powder? Testimonials? Pictures of people holding newspapers? Flashing lights/images/ads?!
SERIOUSLY.
GODDAMNIT.
WHY THE HELL DID I GIVE OUT MY CREDIT CARD DETAILS!>>!>>!>!<?!

What to do? I don't want to let everyone know how idiotic I was, how naive I was.
I am the dumbass victim. ah. AH.

If I called my bank, the person at the end of the like was sure to be thinking something along the lines of "kids these days and their internet! ha, I'm soooo much less fraudable than them" with the icing on the cake being a resounding and condescending belly laugh from the receiver of my mobile.

But I sucked it in.
I called.
Yelled "OPERATOR" a few times.
Got onto someone.
Thank god the lovely woman at the Commonwealth Bank had a far too high pitched vocal chords to belly laugh.
She empathised with my lack of finances (remember, she could see my bank account) and how I was doing it tough, living in a different state to my parents, without KRUDD to help me out. She consoled my desperation, saying that they would look into it all and try to get back the total of $300 dollars taken from my bank account. She was going to cancel my card and send me a new one at that very second.
I bet she licked the envelope.
I think I actually loved the Commonwealth Bank after that afternoon.

But I love them even more now as I have been fully reinstated with all the lost money.
I intend on buying something big and expensive.
Or getting really drunk on expensive liquor.

Any suggestions?
Anyone else as gullible as I am?

Ruined by advertising?

Walking through uni today I saw this ad for MiGoreng (!!!).
I could never imagine a sleek advertising executive looking at the plastic-looking egg on a packet of MiGers and thinking 'yeah, smothered in egg is the angle we'll go for' when there isn't even an egg included.
I think they might even sell more if they wrote 'egg not included' so that the hesitant vegan or those who are grossed out by a vacuumed sealed fried egg are more inclined to whip out the 60ish cents. How could anyone have thought the idea of having an egg on there as a positive packaging factor. But apparently (now) there is someone behind the scenes calling the shots.

Also, why would they say it's a brain food?

There ain't no brain food in that my friend.

Introducing the innocent friend to MiGoreng was the best thing about a hangover. It was the word of mouth, along with the price, that made MiGoreng better than 2 Minute Noodles. It made it grunge goddamnnit!

My question is this: Do you think MiGoreng will actually suffer from advertising when it is traditionally a word-of-mouth food for students?

AUTHENTIC AS POULTRY

I started watching Mad Men a couple of days ago and 4 episodes in, I'm a little hooked.
mmmm.
But it (and this truck I saw outside Queen Victoria Markets) got me thinking about the oddness of advertising words.

The truck said 'blah blah blah Chicken - Authentic poultry"
But how the hell is poultry UNAUTHENTIC?
If that's the best thing the owner of said truck can come up with - man - get some better product.
Do others knit, their chicken? Or is there a government agency that decides if chicken is 'authentic enough?'

I Google Imaged (verb!) 'Authentic Chicken' and only unidentifiable chicken meat in meals came up. ARE ALIVE CHICKENS NOT AUTHENTIC? Does this have implications for humans, am i not authentic until death or cannibalism becomes the newest rage?

I also enjoy the 1# YUMMY RESTAURANT I see on my way to Uni.

Or maybe it's actually DELICIOUS.